Kisses
by Purfessorkitty
Summary: Crazy inferences mean for crazy happenings. You know that right? Rated T, for just swearing. GerRus-ish one-shot. -


**Kisses**

* * *

"What do you _mean _I can't have Gilbird back?"

Prussia screeched at his younger brother, outraged.

Germany held the quivering yellow bird in his large hand tightly, as if he'd squish it any moment. "I mean that you won't be seeing him anymore if you keep acting like such a jackass."

Prussia crossed his arms. "Oh yeah, puh-lease. What are you going to do to him? Never ever give him back to me?"

Germany gave him a lame glare, bringing his hand to the top of the high-pitched chirping little bird's head. He placed his index finger and his thumb on the sides of its small head, beginning to slowly twist it to the side tauntingly, in trying to snap its neck.

The affect was immediate. Prussia spazzed out in surprise, shaking his hands in front of himself to decline the punishment. "NO! Stop! West, what the hell is wrong with you, you sick bastard?!"

"If you don't want me to kill your stupid little bird right in front of you, promise me you won't-"

"OK! OK! I promise! I swear!"

Germany threw the now trembling bird into the Prussian's hands. Gilbird gave one look to Germany, before hiding himself in the collar of Prussia's jacket in fright.

Italy watched the scene from two chairs down. Why did every punishment Germany made have to do with the death of something loved? Speaking of the German's cruel acts, he had a sudden, eerie, idea in the back of his head that made him shiver.

Was Germany related to Russia?

It would make at least a _little _sense, since the both of them are rather cruel. Are they fraternal twins or something? Uncle and nephew? Father and son...? Boyfriends?! HUSBANDS?!

Curiosity killing his mind, he tapped Germany's shoulder.

"Hey Germany! Are you related to Russia?" He asked entirely directly.

Germany seemed to freeze at the question.

"Wait- what- What did you ask me?" He asked, turning around to look at him.

"Are you related to Russia? Like, is Russia your wif- I mean husband... OR I mean, I mean... brothers?"

Prussia burst into laughter, clutching his sides.

Germany's expression froze on his reddening face.

"WHAT?!" He shouted in fury.

Italy shrank in his chair. "I'm asking if you're related to-"

"It was a rhetorical question, Italy!" Germany interrupted before having Italy ask the question over again.

"NO. I am absolutely NOT related to _him! _We don't even look alike! NEITHER are we MARRIED!" His face shown that of disgust, reddened to the point where it seemed to be on fire.

"And I'll _never _be married to that man-child! Where did you hear that?!"

Before Italy could reply, Prussia piped up from behind them.

"Germany and Russia, sitting in a tree~  
K-I-S-S- having sex!"

Germany turned to Prussia, who was still laughing his ass off. He extended his arm and smacked the Prussian upside the head.

"Ow, what the he-"

"Privet, Comrades!" Russia smiled from the doorway.

Everyone froze in terror, wide-eyed. Even Gilbird.

He suddenly walked forward, ignoring their stares. His eyes were closed in a tired, happy smile.

He stepped in front of Germany, not giving the German a chance to defend himself for about what he was going to do.

He leaned forward, and kissed the German on the lips.

Germany, at first hardly had a reaction, processing what happened. But after a couple seconds, he was motionless, eyes as wide as plates. His face visibly grew a darker blush across his cheeks.

The Russian pulled away swiftly, turning to Prussia and without warning, kissing him as well.

"Whoa, whoa, _whoa!_ What are you _doing!?" _He screeched in a high voice, pulling away immediately and eyeing him with widened, infuriated eyes.

Russia shined him a smile, turning to walk away. Before he did, he quickly bent down and kissed Italy, moving in a quick motion so the Italian didn't have any chance to escape.

Italy's eyes opened in terror, barely even having any pupils.

He pulled back, standing back up and walking to the end of the room to a case none of them noticed before.

"I almost forgot my things!" He smiled, taking the case and walking out of the room.

"Oh, and if I ever walk into this room again, and see you three talking about me; I'll tear open your throats with your own limbs and dig out your internal organs. _Do svidaniya~!" _He smiled, turning his gaze to Germany.

He gave the German a small playful wink, then left the room, giggling.

The three stared at the doorway in silence.

The silence was interrupted by Italy, who began hyperventilating.

"H-he, wh-why did...? He k-...k-i-ss-ed m-e..."

He fell back in his chair and caused it to clatter to the floor. He passed out from shock and disbelief and utter horror.

Prussia wiped his lips with the sleeve of his jacket.

"Sick! That was disgusting! Ugh, why did he _KISS ME?!" _

Germany kept a dark crimson blush across his face. Why did Russia wink at him? Did he hear what they were talking about? Nonetheless, the Russian's lips felt so soft and fragile compared to his. For some reason, a small part of him wanted the kiss to last more longer...

Prussia noticed his odd gaze.

"You liked that, didn't you?" He eyed his brother carefully.

Germany shook his head, coming back to reality.

"Eh?! No! I did not!" He protested.

Prussia only stared at him, a smirk breaking across his face as he pointed at his brother knowingly. He let out an exaggerated "Ooh", sound, that someone makes when another person either got in trouble or did something bad.

Germany scowled.

"That's it! Give me back that goddamn bird!"

"NO! Not my baby!"

The two chased each other out of the room, barely even remembering the fact that Italy was still unconscious in the room.

* * *

**A/N: oooooo, Germany's gonna get in trooouublleee. **

**So ye, the reason Roosha (Teehee, Roosha. :D) kissed them id because that's how they greet in Europe. But, y'know, besides Germany, because Germany's fukin, too manly for dat shet. e-e **

**This was mah byoutiful one-shot, which was going to originally be made in my fanfic thingy, Germany and Russia Moments, but I liked this one a lot so I made it its own thing. I'm a turtle. **


End file.
